My So-Called Friends

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to make plans with a friend, days if not weeks in advance, and then the day of your planned event, even though you talked to them several times about your plans that same day, they never show up!

I am a very understanding person. I understand that sometimes, things come up. Sometimes, you just change your mind and don't want to follow the plans. Sometimes, you lose track of time. But with all of these circumstances, YOU SHOULD CALL!!!! Right? I don't care if someone decides they want to change their mind, but don't leave me hanging! I don't have many days or evenings off, so when I do, it's a big thing for me to make plans to do something different! I love going out and doing different things and trying different things. I love seeing old friends. I was so pumped tonight to be doing something different, and where I was going, I really wanted to show my friend. Instead, I spent the evening pissed off! I think I would be in a better mood if she had called to cancel, instead of leaving me hanging!

It also would be different if this were the first time. It's not. This "friend" of mine stood me up before for the bullnanza a couple of years ago. She stood me up for a murder mystery party on the Capital city Queen, and the tickets were $20 each! I know there have been many other instances, but each time, I forgive her and ignore it. She never apologizes or even acknowledges we had plans. Every time she stands me up, had I known she didn't want to go, I would have went on my own, or found someone else to accompany me, but it's a little late when you are expecting them right before the event starts!

It is very hard for me to make friends. I don't consider very many people my close friends. So, when someone does this to me, it makes me feel like crap. I'm irritable, crabby and very emotional. I don't know why, other than she let me down, again. It makes me feel low, like I have no friends, or that I'm not a very interesting person. I give myself freely to other people whenever they need something from me, but no one does the same for me. It just wears me out. I put myself out there for everyone all the time, but I can't even get a friend to call me to say she doesn't want to go somewhere with me.

I guess I'm mostly disappointed. Disappointed that she would do this to me yet again. Disappointed that she doesn't have the courtesy to call and apologize. Disappointed that she doesn't stop to think of my feelings. Disappointed in myself to let myself get worked up. Disappointed that I let people walk over me. Disappointed because I thought my friend was a very good friend.

I think that's enough raving from me tonight. You get the drift what kind of mood I'm in!

Until next time, sports fans.