Memorial Day

Last Monday was Memorial Day, and I just realized that I never even thought about putting flowers on my parents graves like I always do! I was working the entire weekend, so I don't know if it's that, or if I'm truly moving on.

I've noticed lately that most of my thoughts of my parents are memories, but don't make me upset or feel like crying. I don't even think of them on a regular basis anymore. When I do talk about them, it's only about memories from childhood or good memories. I still avoid talking about them to people who don't know me very well. That's mostly because they all think I'm really sad, depressed, or missing them.

I wish people would stop thinking that just because I'm talking about my parents that they need to feel sympathetic to me. They were a part of my life for over 23 years, so of course I'm going to talk about them! When people don't talk about their family or friends who have died, that's when I think people should worry. They probably aren't accepting the fact of death. Yes, I still miss my parents, but life moves on, and I can't dwell in the past. I miss what my life was like before. I miss being carefree and always being able to call my mom with questions or her opinions, but I still carry her knowledge on the many subjects. I am my mother. If anyone knew my mom and her true personality, you would know I'm almost her exact replica! That fact doesn't make me sad or emotional, it just makes me laugh! Growing up, you never want to be like your mother, but I am! As my dad used to tell me, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall. I am my mother after all!" I usually don't talk about my dad. To me, he was just a dad. My mom though was also my friend and I knew she would stand behind me unconditionally without asking questions.

I usually remember my parents throughout the year on other days than Memorial Day, but this day was important to my mom, and she always put flowers on the graves of all her relatives. I do feel bad that I didn't get flowers on the graves in Onida like she would have, but I'm also happy that I know I'm moving on!