The Real Me

I don't know why, but last evening, into the wee hours of the morning, I had a self realization. What I'm missing most in my life is MUSIC! I love music. Sure I still listen to anything and everything, but I forgot how much enjoyment and enrichment I got in my life from playing music.

I used to play the keyboard or piano for relaxation or to help me think. I don't know when I stopped playing. Now it's almost a craving I have to play music. I also used to make it almost a hobby to learn new music and instruments. I bought a guitar several years ago that I still haven't sat down to learn, and I want to learn to play the drums.

I don't know why I stopped playing music, other than I was in a little "depression." I've really stopped and looked at what I've done and where I've been in my life, and I'm a little disappointed in myself. I let what I loved in life go by the wayside. I have let other people tell me what I should do in life. I don't take time for myself and what I want. Quite frankly, I'm getting sick of pleasing everyone else and always bending over backwards for everyone else.

I've decided it's time for me. I will do what I want, when I want, and to hell with everyone else. Easier said than done, but hey, a girl can hope. I'm just ready to move on to the next big thing.