Fast Forward

Wow! I didn't realize how long it has been since I posted my last blog!

After meeting with my advisor for school, I really think I'm doing the right thing. I was a little worried for a while because I wasn't sure what I wanted to be, and I didn't want to be in school until I was 35! I'm excited again for school. Next semester will be the first time I take more than four classes. I'm taking five, and I will take a few over the summer as well.

I am also happy to report that I survived the anniversary of my mom's death without shedding a tear. I still remembered her, but it wasn't as heart breaking as years past. Maybe "time heals all wounds" isn't some corny line made up by a person who didn't know what else to tell their friend?

There isn't much to report. All I do is work, eat, sleep, and go to school. It's a little tiring, but I don't have many options.

This next weekend, our family is getting together, and I'm cooking a turkey! It might be scary. Details to follow....

And the World Still Spins Madly On....

I've been very melancholy lately. I'm not sure if it's the Earth tilting and changing pressures and seasons in the air; if it's because it's almost the anniversary of my mother's death; or, if it's because I'm worried about my future plans.

I'm worried about my future because I'm so old to be going to school, and I worry that life will pass by while I'm trying to educate and better myself. All I do is work and go to school. I don't have many friends nearby and I'm not volunteering like I used to-all ways that I stayed in touch with the "real world."

Today, one of my old coworker's nephews was killed in a hunting accident. He was 14 years old. All I could think of was my oldest nephew Austin who absolutely loves hunting. My friend, Tammy was close to him and is having a hard time, as is the rest of his family. It brings up memories and feelings from years past. I hope Tammy's family can move on and find peace.

It's almost 4 a.m. and I'm still awake! I've been sleeping a lot lately and I think it's because I've been so melancholy. The other night I had a melt down and did not sleep well at all. I think I'm feeling too sorry for myself. I just wish I could be the person I used to be. I was looking at pictures of myself as a young girl and I'm always smiling, enjoying life, being naive. I wish I was that happy again and enjoy life's little wonders. I sometimes wonder if I will ever learn to be happy again and not fake it. Just when I think I'm making headway in life, life throws me curveballs and I'm having meltdowns again. GRRRRRR!

And the Crowd Goes Wild!!!!!

So, one of my two fans recently complained because I'm a boring blogger and don't blog enough. Sorry I'm a boring person. I admit to it! But I will try to keep you better informed....

I think idiots follow me. Tonight, every single aide I worked with, was an idiot. It's irritating to me when people don't think of the full spectrum of their job and how their incompetence and laziness effects everyone. I also hate the people who think they know everything, and us humble people always have to clean up after them because they are so dumb. ARRRGGHHH!!!!

But on a positive note, USD finally released my hold so I could finish my registration for classes. I tried to get a response from them for over a month. Finally, I sent a kind of mean letter with information they received that they should have released me from the hold a month ago. After receiving the letter, they miraculously released my hold. I love being mean and firm!

Next up is trying to decide what to be when I grow up. Any suggestions from the crowd is appreciated.

Ten Years.....How Much Do People Change?

In a couple weeks, my class is having their ten year class reunion. I have mixed emotions about this. I want to go, but yet I don't.

I don't want to go because I really don't remember much about school, and the people who are all going to be their weren't necessarily people I've ever considered friends. I also think a lot will be talking about dumb stuff from high school. My old classmates also perceived me as being a certain type of person. Will they see that they were wrong all these years? Will they think I'm the same "quiet" person I was ten years ago? Will they really care if I attend? Will they try to understand the person I have become and decisions I have made in my life? Will anyone even care?

I want to attend the reunion because I want to reconnect with classmates and see where life's road has led them. I want to see what everyone is doing.

I don't know what to do. However, the decision may be made by whether or not I can find someone to work the weekend for me.

If My Life Were a Book......

If my life were a biography book.....it would be so boring people would use it as coasters and door stops.

If my life were a children's book.....I would be the goofy looking kid with huge glasses and wild hair that everyone picks on.

If my life were a diet and health book.....people would die laughing.

If my life were a history book.....historians would be scratching their head wondering why my life could make history.

If my life were a mystery and crime book.....I would either be the victim or the crazy person who helps the main character solve the mystery.

If my life were a religion book.....I would be showcased as the person NOT to imitate.

If my life were a self-help book.....I would spout off useless information to other crazy quacks.

If my life were a romance book.....I should have married my prince a long time ago and be living happily ever after.

If my life were a science fiction book.....I would be the half troll-half leprechaun that lives under the bridge.

Unfortunately, my life will never be a bestseller. I can handle that. I don't mind not having drama. I don't like drama and Lord knows I've dealt with enough drama in my lifetime. Maybe though, I'll make the story of my life be more adventurous and carefree.

Happy Belated Independence Day!

Due to computer problems at my sister's house, I was unable to network and blog over the weekend of the 4th. I had a great time Friday getting fireworks, the fourth at a parade and fireworks later on, and spent the 5th at a 4-H rodeo and recouping. It was a long weekend with my niece and nephews. Even the nephew that calls me every day stopped listening to me! I wasn't even that harsh on them!

I am now back to Manorcare full time for the summer, and part-time during the school year. I'm glad to be back to one schedule, one shift, and one set of residents to know. Even though the other part-time job I had paid better, I am glad to know I will have hours and money!!!

I really, really want to move! I was thinking of waiting until next Spring, but I'm really thinking in January will be great. I feel like I'm walking in place at Northern. I love the school and campus, but it doesn't offer the programs I want. So in the meantime, I'm going to be working on my generals.

Celebrate Good Times!

Woohoo! Tonight was my last scheduled shift at a nursing home I recently started at very part-time. I know I just started, but it was a difficult place to work. They did things SO weird! I'm just so glad to be able to look at my schedule and know what I work instead of living out of my planner-trying to figure out when and where I'm going to work what days. It's been so exhausting.

Anyways....it's almost the 4th of July! I'm so excited this year for some reason. We're going to buy fireworks again this year and have a blast! (well, hopefully a safe blast.) I'm just so glad to be going back to my home area for a few days. I have so much I want to do and get done, but not enough time.

Happy Independence Day!!!!