Nothing in particular.....

I just spent the most laid back weekend I've had in a long time. I went to a foot spa party Saturday, took a nap and did nothing. Sunday, I put a mud mask on my face, then went to Blaire's birthday party at the bowling alley. I feel sorry for teachers! There were 9 girls between the ages of 8 and 10.......that is why I'll never have children! Even at such a young age, there was so much drama!

Spring: the new Winter!

Okay, it's supposedly "Spring." So what's up with the cold temps and snow and ice? Mother Nature is playing cruel tricks again! My hands are freezing, my jacket is almost too thin, and I just want it to be warm!

I was at the hospital tonight. When I left, some little man rode his rusty old bike up the the steps of the old part of the hospital, dug through the garbage, and sat down to "rest." I don't know if he's planning on sleeping there or what, but I find that very sad in today's society! But that's for another blog.

Well, I'm hoping it heats up soon. I'm tired of freezing and losing my mittens!

Until next time, kiddies.........

Days off and being a Girl!!!!

I love days off! And I love being a girl!

Other than my part time job at 4 tonight, it is my day off! Most people on their day off have a whole long list of stuff to do. Actually, I do too, but I'm a bad procrastinator. So today, I slept in(well at least until the phone rang), I used my new scalp massage stuff, I thinned my hair, took a long hot shower, moisturized the hell out of my body, put on my new makeup and I'm going to do my hair today too. There is no special reason, I just feel like being girly today. Last night I soaked my feet and scrubbed them with foot scrub, shaved my legs, all while sitting in front of the TV watching a new movie! I went to bed after pampering my feet and legs and also after rubbing my aching neck. It was like having a spa right at home!

Happy Spring!

I don't know why, but today I'm really happy. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, I didn't win the lottery, I didn't witness anyone falling, I worked hard, spent a lot of money, but yet I'm still happy today.

Maybe it's because Spring is here. It's getting nice outside. Gangs are roaming the streets and railroad tracks. Or maybe because I just soaked my feet and shaved my legs. Now my legs feel like a baby butt! Heehee!!! I also bought more cool makeup, and got my Jafra stuff today! Yeah!!!

Anywho, I hope you all are enjoying spring also!!!

Peace out!

Aliens!!!!

I was just reading an article about people who believe in aliens. To me, that's a very far fetched idea, but I guess we never really know.

Supposing aliens really do exist, at Halloween, do they dress up like us as humans like how kids dress up as aliens? Do they find it funny that people pretend to be aliens when they dress up like them?

Immigrants are often called aliens. Do the aliens from another universe get upset because they "stole" their names? Furthermore, do aliens from other countries get upset because they are being grouped with other worldly creatures?

If aliens can travel here supposedly, why can't we find them in other universes? How did they find us? Our universe is very large, but they keep stalking Earth? And only in the United States or Canada or our navy ships? Do they stalk any other continents or other countries armed forces? What is the aliens fixation with America?

Spring has sprung, Sprung has Spring!

Yay!!!! Spring is in the air, it's warming up outside so I can finally turn down the heater! I can go on long walks again, and pray the gangster's of Pierre are idle.

This is my second day in a row off, but after my long week last week, I'm still tired and just want to be lazy. I stayed in bed all morning reading a book. I was up until 1 am reading a different book. I love to read books. Especially the really good books.

I have a million and one things to do today, but I think I might take a nap and read another book. When I feel some energy, I'll clean my apartment while listening to a talking book.

Maybe I'll go for a walk tonight. I think it's going to be a nice day.

To my audience of one.....

Just to set a few things straight.........when I blog on here, I'm just venting. I may not always have these weird, strange feelings, but at the time I write it, I do. I started this blogging site because I love to write. Writers are supposed to write what they know. This is all I know. Plus, when I vent on here or in my journal, it helps me relieve my stress, and it never tries to give me advice. So, I'm not any more depressed than the average person, I'm not completely crazy yet, I don't here strange voices, I just want to express myself.

Ugh!

I just got home from work. According to the time clock, I worked 101 hours in the last 2 weeks. My head hurts, my neck hurts, I need a lot of sleep, and I still have to work tomorrow.

I worked extra because of sick calls and family emergencies. If I were a nurse, I'd get a bonus for the 2 days I got called in. Since I'm a lowly ward clerk, I just got 2 movie tickets that I will probably not have time to use.

Now I think I'm getting sick just because I've worked so much. Knock on wood, but I am the only one who has yet to get sick this year in the ward clerk group.

Life as we know it.....

Does anyone else ever feel like there is more to life out there, and it's just beyond our fingertips? Do you have a deep restlessness that makes you want to scream, shout or cry because you are unhappy with the unsatisfactory roads you have taken in your life? Do you ever want to just pack up your bags and get out of Dodge, but don't know where to go or how to get there?

For the past several years, I keep trying to find happiness in life, but I can never attain it.

I am unhappy with my job, mostly because I don't want to work in healthcare forever. I have a phobia of finding dead people, so when you work in healthcare, eventually you will be the first person to go into a patients room and they have stopped breathing. I think this phobia is related to my dad's death. It's almost as if I knew for a long time that he would die one day, and I'd be the only one there. For several months before he died, whenever he was noncompliant with his health, I'd tell him I didn't care anymore, just as long as I didn't have to find his dead body. The last time I said it to him, just a few weeks before he died, he had an odd look on his face and didn't laugh. Finding him dead in his sleep was very traumatic for me and continues to hold me back. Maybe I need to seek professional help.

I am unhappy with my choices regarding college. I have continually pushed it off after I quit not long after starting my 1st year of college. I always had some sort of excuse as to why I wasn't taking classes, not that I really want to go back, I don't know if I can afford to. I am considering moving to where my sister is just so I have someone to share rent and utilities with and can help me if needed.

I am unhappy with my financial status. I think I deserve more than what I make at my job, but for Pierre and not having a college education, I actually probably get paid decently, even though they don't give us our cost of living raises because of all the people who won't pay their bills at the hospital. When I'm down or depressed about something, that's when I have the worst financial problems, because I don't pay enough attention and forget to pay bills, etc.

I know that I am the only one who can change my life and find true happiness. Everytime you are supposed to make a wish, such as those silly emails you have to forward on, I always wish for happiness, and sometimes peace within myself. I know people in worse situations than me have come out victoriously in life and all I need is a little faith, but that's hard when all life throws you are lemons.

What has the world come to?

I am a news junky. I like knowing what's going on in the world around me. But lately, I get depressed every time I read the news. All you hear about is people murdering pregnant women, committing heinous crimes against children, kids killing other kids, and how politicians are involved in sex rings or child pornography.

What ever happened to the days when everyone in the grocery store smiled and said, "hello." Even if you didn't know them! Now you're lucky if someone says "excuse me" when they bump into you. You drive cautiously because you never know if the other drivers are sane or if they are going to run you off the road. Fast food workers worry about being shot when someone pulls up to the window to get their food. Policemen in little towns that are barely a dot on the map wear bullet proof vests all the time, because you never know what you will come upon. Parents fear that their children will be abducted walking home from school, even just 2 blocks!

I truly believe that if society continues all this negativity and ill-will, there will be no hope for us! What ever happened to people fearing God and living a life worthy of Heaven? Satan continues to win when people are selfish and don't consider the precious gifts of life and free will.

While some people may think I'm weird or nuts, I will continue to smile to everyone and say hello to people passing by me. I will continue to give selflessly to society and God, and hope that by witnessing my actions, the ice will crack just a little around the hearts of people around me.

Sucker!!!!!

I think I have a big "sucker" sign posted on my forehead. Everyone at work knows that if they need help, to call me, I can't say "no." Even when I'm already at work, they know I won't leave them in a lurch and will stay late to help out.

I am so tired of being taken advantage of, but I also can't help saying "yes" when I should be saying "no." When I do too much, then I lag in my house work and I feel tired and depressed, and I let things go by the wayside. It's almost as if I'm addicted to telling people "yes."

Furthermore, I'm even more upset at my employer for not offering bonuses to everyone who comes in extra. The nurses I work with all get a bonus for coming in extra, working an extra weekend, etc., but us peons get nothing but a free movie ticket!!!! And the free movie ticket is only if you have a concientious coordinator who calls you!!!!

Maybe I'm just tired of the system and need to pursue a new profession, or maybe I really am just crazy. All I know is that something's gotta give..........

Phew!!!

I made it! I didn't pass out, and no one fell asleep during my presentation, so hopefully everyone benefitted from it! Not only did I do somewhat okay, I spent $60!!!!! Oh well, just some stuff to pamper myself. So life goes on......

Eeekkk!!!

In an hour and a half, I am going to give a presentation on women and heart disease to a group of 5-30 women. I am seriously nervous. I haven't done public speaking since I was in high school! I didn't have a lot of time to prepare, and I don't know how much information they want or need, or what kind, so I'm just winging it tonight. I know the information, I just don't know what information for sure they all want! I don't do well in front of large groups of people, so hopefully, there will only be a handful tonight. But since my luck isn't so great, I'm betting there will be a full house!!!!

Everyone please think of me and pray for me that tonight goes well!