Family Reunion

I got back Saturday from the Moulton family reunion in the Black Hills. I got reaquainted with many of my relatives I haven't seen in over 10 years and I met new ones. It was a lot of fun seeing all of them again. We had relatives fly in from Florida, Michigan, Virginia, New Mexico, Colorado, North Dakota, Wyoming, Montana and possibly more states were represented.

I did however, not get a chance to catch up with my aunt and uncle, Ethel and Dutch's families. I talked to a few, but just never got a chance to catch up to them. I wish I would have gotten there on Wednesday. Maybe then I would have had more time to spend getting to know them also.

One of my mom's cousins had some old slides from her mother that she got put on a disc. We all got a copy. They were pictures of the Moulton family when my great aunts and uncles and grandparents were young. My mom was in a lot of them. They were from when she was probably about 13.

I finally looked at those pictures today, and I cried(yes, Janel. I know I made fun of you for doing the same thing!). My mom was a very expressive person. You could always tell a lot about her feelings on something by the way she looked or smiled. In these pictures, you could tell my mom was a handful and very much full of life. As I was looking at them, all I could think of was how she would never had dreamed how her life would end. In the pictures from when she was just a kid of maybe 5 with her cute curly hair and mischivous smile, you would never think someone could die the way she did. She never knew the heartache she would later face with the death of her own parents and relatives or the hardships of marrying a hard-headed man or struggling to raise a family on one income while trying to run the farm. All of this was running through my head as I was watching her and some of my closest relatives in pictures, flashing across my computer screen.

Then I stopped and realized how much my mother had. She experienced the birth of her 5 children and raised them to be law abiding, resourceful, respectful individuals, and parents. She was able to see 3 of her grandchildren come to life and she helped them grow spiritually as well as mentally. She was a well respected person. She would help out anyone in need. She gave love freely not just to her family, but to those she took care of and her friends and coworkers. Even though she died an untimely, tragic death, my mother left a legacy that is hard for anyone else to live up to. My mother set the bar high for us. Each of five kids are a part of her and she lives in us. She lives in us when we show love and compassion to those around us. She lives in us when we chose to do the right things, but also when we make mistakes and learn from them. I am my mother. She taught me everything she knew about life, it's struggles, how to love and show compassion, and taught me to be myself. I don't think she'll ever know how grateful I am to have had her as my mother and I hope some day I can be the person she was inside.

My So-Called Friends

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to make plans with a friend, days if not weeks in advance, and then the day of your planned event, even though you talked to them several times about your plans that same day, they never show up!

I am a very understanding person. I understand that sometimes, things come up. Sometimes, you just change your mind and don't want to follow the plans. Sometimes, you lose track of time. But with all of these circumstances, YOU SHOULD CALL!!!! Right? I don't care if someone decides they want to change their mind, but don't leave me hanging! I don't have many days or evenings off, so when I do, it's a big thing for me to make plans to do something different! I love going out and doing different things and trying different things. I love seeing old friends. I was so pumped tonight to be doing something different, and where I was going, I really wanted to show my friend. Instead, I spent the evening pissed off! I think I would be in a better mood if she had called to cancel, instead of leaving me hanging!

It also would be different if this were the first time. It's not. This "friend" of mine stood me up before for the bullnanza a couple of years ago. She stood me up for a murder mystery party on the Capital city Queen, and the tickets were $20 each! I know there have been many other instances, but each time, I forgive her and ignore it. She never apologizes or even acknowledges we had plans. Every time she stands me up, had I known she didn't want to go, I would have went on my own, or found someone else to accompany me, but it's a little late when you are expecting them right before the event starts!

It is very hard for me to make friends. I don't consider very many people my close friends. So, when someone does this to me, it makes me feel like crap. I'm irritable, crabby and very emotional. I don't know why, other than she let me down, again. It makes me feel low, like I have no friends, or that I'm not a very interesting person. I give myself freely to other people whenever they need something from me, but no one does the same for me. It just wears me out. I put myself out there for everyone all the time, but I can't even get a friend to call me to say she doesn't want to go somewhere with me.

I guess I'm mostly disappointed. Disappointed that she would do this to me yet again. Disappointed that she doesn't have the courtesy to call and apologize. Disappointed that she doesn't stop to think of my feelings. Disappointed in myself to let myself get worked up. Disappointed that I let people walk over me. Disappointed because I thought my friend was a very good friend.

I think that's enough raving from me tonight. You get the drift what kind of mood I'm in!

Until next time, sports fans.

I don't want to work!

I wish I were a self-made millionaire. That way, I wouldn't have to work unless I wanted!

I just cringe some days thinking about getting up the next morning to go work at the hospital. I'm tired of sick people! They are whiney babies!

I also hate work because you never know who you are working with and if they are in a good mood or have a good attitude. You never know how many patients you'll have or if you'll be scrambling for rooms. You never know if your friend or family member will be the patient they call a code blue on. I'm just tired of the rat race. It's not fun anymore. There is absolutely no glamour in the job. There is so much negativity.

Well, guess I better get to bed so I can go to work with a smile tomorrow!