Happy Birthday Mom.

Yesterday would have been my mom's 66th birthday. While I miss her every day, I feel like she's in Heaven looking down on us. I can't help but think about what my mom would think about me going to school. Would she come visit me often? Would she come and support the NSU clubs and sports? Would I have even gone back to school had she still been alive?

I've come to realize that I miss my mom for the person she was, not just because she was my mother. She was my biggest fan, a great friend, and another person who willingly would go on any adventure I proposed.

I hope she had a great birthday in Heaven.

Merry Christmas

Today was the first time I went to Christmas Eve mass that was not either in Onida or with my parents. I have never missed a Christmas Eve mass in all the years that I can remember. Sometimes when I was younger, we'd go to Blunt or Pierre if there was a scheduling problem and Onida didn't have one, but in the most recent past, I have always gone to Onida. It was a very weird feeling, and it didn't seem like Christmas Eve mass to me. I guess I'm used to the traditions of Onida. Some people may find this odd because I admit I haven't been very good about attending church on a regular basis, but that doesn't mean I'm any less spiritual. I have my reasons, and they aren't easy to explain in 500 words or fewer. I just don't want people to judge me, because they really don't understand or know what's going on inside my head.

Sometime tonight, a storm is supposed to be coming through. I hope it's not as bad as they are predicting because I have to work Christmas Day! I don't want to have to call anyone for a ride. The last time the maintenance man gave me a ride because of bad weather, he forgot to take me home!

As the new year is quickly approaching, I've been thinking of resolutions. I know I never keep them, and every year I resolve never to make resolutions, but I need to work on exercising more, studying more, and getting more involved in my world. I might as well start with the new year when I make these changes.

Big Sigh

It's officially the end of the fall term! I spent the last week studying for exams, and I don't think I did very well at all. I couldn't seem to collect my thoughts and absorb the information. I think I will pass all my classes, I just won't have high marks in several of them. However, I got an A in College Algebra. That was one of the classes I was most dreading. I will have to rain a bit on my parade because I didn't take the final exam and the professor changed the grading system. Technically, I should have gotten a B, but I'm glad the system got changed. He made the final optional. If we were happy with our grade before the final, then we didn't have to take it. He also only took the three highest grades out of four tests to average the points.

I am excited for next semester. I'm taking a huge leap by adding more classes than in previous semesters. I will be taking six classes. Usually I only take four. My classes will be more focused on my intended degrees, well, except for Speech, but I just needed to get that out of the way and done. I am hoping to take summer courses also so I can be done with all my generals. I just hope they offer what I need. I still have to take my blasted wellness class.....argh!!!!

I've got a couple of weeks until classes start again. Hopefully I can relax and rest up. I may be picking up shifts at the nursing home in Pierre since Manorcare is overly staffed and a little low on census. We'll have to wait and see how everything works out!

Bon soir!

December

It's the beginning of December-which marks the beginning of a very busy month!

Last weekend was when all my siblings got together to visit and have a family dinner. It's very rare that every one of us are able to get together, so it was very nice. I made a turkey for the first time ever! I thought I would totally ruin it, but other than the fact that Karla didn't see the giblets inside and they got cooked with the turkey, it turned out okay.

Next week is finals. I'm a little leery about a few of them. Luckily, my college algebra final is optional. I currently have a B in it, and I'm fine with that! I just hope I pass all my classes. They aren't very fun this semester, and I do not want to retake any of them! I'm excited for next semester classes because they seem all very interesting.

The weekend after finals, I will be watching Janel's kids overnight while they go to Deadwood for Mike's company Christmas party. It will be interesting! Hopefully, they will be on their best behaviors!

I'm not sure what I'll be doing for Christmas this year. I know I work Christmas Day, but I am off Christmas Eve. My cousin who lives not too far from me has invited me down, but I don't know what their plans are either.

Soon will be New Years. I never do anything on New Years, so I'm not sure if I will work, go out, leave town, or what I will do. Whatever it is, I hope to have fun!

Fast Forward

Wow! I didn't realize how long it has been since I posted my last blog!

After meeting with my advisor for school, I really think I'm doing the right thing. I was a little worried for a while because I wasn't sure what I wanted to be, and I didn't want to be in school until I was 35! I'm excited again for school. Next semester will be the first time I take more than four classes. I'm taking five, and I will take a few over the summer as well.

I am also happy to report that I survived the anniversary of my mom's death without shedding a tear. I still remembered her, but it wasn't as heart breaking as years past. Maybe "time heals all wounds" isn't some corny line made up by a person who didn't know what else to tell their friend?

There isn't much to report. All I do is work, eat, sleep, and go to school. It's a little tiring, but I don't have many options.

This next weekend, our family is getting together, and I'm cooking a turkey! It might be scary. Details to follow....

And the World Still Spins Madly On....

I've been very melancholy lately. I'm not sure if it's the Earth tilting and changing pressures and seasons in the air; if it's because it's almost the anniversary of my mother's death; or, if it's because I'm worried about my future plans.

I'm worried about my future because I'm so old to be going to school, and I worry that life will pass by while I'm trying to educate and better myself. All I do is work and go to school. I don't have many friends nearby and I'm not volunteering like I used to-all ways that I stayed in touch with the "real world."

Today, one of my old coworker's nephews was killed in a hunting accident. He was 14 years old. All I could think of was my oldest nephew Austin who absolutely loves hunting. My friend, Tammy was close to him and is having a hard time, as is the rest of his family. It brings up memories and feelings from years past. I hope Tammy's family can move on and find peace.

It's almost 4 a.m. and I'm still awake! I've been sleeping a lot lately and I think it's because I've been so melancholy. The other night I had a melt down and did not sleep well at all. I think I'm feeling too sorry for myself. I just wish I could be the person I used to be. I was looking at pictures of myself as a young girl and I'm always smiling, enjoying life, being naive. I wish I was that happy again and enjoy life's little wonders. I sometimes wonder if I will ever learn to be happy again and not fake it. Just when I think I'm making headway in life, life throws me curveballs and I'm having meltdowns again. GRRRRRR!

And the Crowd Goes Wild!!!!!

So, one of my two fans recently complained because I'm a boring blogger and don't blog enough. Sorry I'm a boring person. I admit to it! But I will try to keep you better informed....

I think idiots follow me. Tonight, every single aide I worked with, was an idiot. It's irritating to me when people don't think of the full spectrum of their job and how their incompetence and laziness effects everyone. I also hate the people who think they know everything, and us humble people always have to clean up after them because they are so dumb. ARRRGGHHH!!!!

But on a positive note, USD finally released my hold so I could finish my registration for classes. I tried to get a response from them for over a month. Finally, I sent a kind of mean letter with information they received that they should have released me from the hold a month ago. After receiving the letter, they miraculously released my hold. I love being mean and firm!

Next up is trying to decide what to be when I grow up. Any suggestions from the crowd is appreciated.